Thanksgiving!!!

Hey peeps! I hope y'all had a happy thanksgiving. I know I did. I was back in Cali for a while visiting family and my peeps. Here's a recap of my trip back home for all my fans in the atx. Gotta give the people what they want!

So I thought I had a direct flight into LAX from austin but it turns out i had a stop over in el paso. Talk about a dust bowl! After we took off I had to go noxema my face in the bathroom to protect my pores. And the flight was full but I was lucky and got the only seat on the entire plane not sitting next to someone! I know right!

It was sooo good to be back in Cali. The weather was of course beautiful nearly the whole time I was there. There are lots of crazy stories but I'll just highlight the best ones. Oh I was out in West Hollywood at the Abbey and I totally met Doogie Howser (aka Neil Patrick Harris aka total hottie pants even though he's kinda old). I think he was totally flirting with me too because he said I was wearing a cute top and I totally was of course. I could be Mrs. Dr. Howser. I don't think I'd ever date a celebrity though because think of how all the gay paparatzi would be ALL OVER you. And think of all the creepy old guys who would jack off to the pictures of doogie and me on the cover of US Weekly. Right?!

I had to drive down to Newport with a friend to pick up a new car. His parents bought him a new mercedes and it looks so fierce. He's totally going to get all sorts of hand jobs in that car! LOL you know it's true Jake!

And then we went down to San Diego to party it up! San Diego gays are so tame compared with us LA boys! We owned that fucking club beeyotches! Although there was this one totally cute boy there that I may be crunching over. He's tall and dreamy. Yum yum!

Oh and Thanksgiving was good. I spent it with my family. Naturally I didn't eat that much but I had my fair share of wine. Most of the rest of the time I just spent chillin by the pool though it was kinda chilly but that's why you drink Midori Melon Coolers to warm you up! Oh and I got to chill with my grandma who's badass but a little bit racist but it's okay because she's old.

Anyway then I came back to the atx and the weather SUCKS! It's cold and rainy. What's up with that? It had better warm up soon or else!

Anyway that's all for now. Love ya. muah!

XOXO

Ryan

Bearforce1!!!

God, do you have any idea how much work it is to take care of two puppies when your non-romantic long-term male companion is gone!?!!? I'm exhausted!!! All they want to do is go outside and look at all the cute boys! And because of my fantastic new promotion I totally have to manage my time now like I was a real grown up!! I guess there's no rest for the wicked!!1

But seriously Halloween was soooo much fun... they don't have anything like this in Cali. And guess who the stars of the show were?! D&G!!! All of the cute straight boys would come up and ask us if they could play with them, but none of the gay ones. I think it's because they were stealing the diva's spotlight!!! Even I was a little jealous... ice pick!!! KIDDING kidding...

Okay, but after I got home from work last night I totally started watching youtube videos because it's normally when R makes me do situps and stuff, and since he wasn't here, I totally indulged myself. No, I didn't eat any ice cream!!! ;-)

I like this one best: Bear Force One

Okay, someone with a larger technical endowment than I needs to tell me how to get the videos to show up in the post, because I am good at a lot of things, but using computers is not one of them! I bet Ry could tell me how to do it. After he makes me do 12 push ups and 25 sit ups. :-( hahaha

I think it's totally great that they're so comfortable with their bodies! And for what they have, I think they're working it pretty good!! I mean, that scene where they're all in chinos and pastel polos.... totally GAP!

Alright, I have to make amends to the gym gods for last night. I think Ry would be proud. Too bad he's not here to see it. :-( Oh well, I'm sure he's having a good time!

Back to Cali!

Hey Peeps! I'm headed home for a visit at the end of the week! I have a lot of pics of all the hotttt bois in the atx to show y'all (that's how they talk down here). I can't wait to see you all again and hit up the Rodeo drive and sunset strip! See y'all real soon!

ttfn,

Ryan

Halloweekend!

Hey peeps! Sorry it's been a while since i posted but it's been kinda crayzee here. The big story of course is halloween which kinda sucked this year because it was on a wednesday. Topher and I couldn't decide if we wanted to party on the weekend before or the weekend after so we decided to party on both! And of course we had to hit up the HUGE halloween festivities on sixth street. I've never seen so many hot boys in my life. maybe that's just because you couldn't see their faces.

NEwayz the weekend before halloween topher and I went to a party at a friend's house. We went as a good angel and a bad angel (i'll let you decide which one is which!). Dolce & Gabbana were representing inside this cute little portable doggie house i made out of an old Prada messenger bag. They were our little monsters. It was adorable.

Then on wenesday we went downtown to the big party on the sixth street. We were still dressed as angels but we decided to reverse rolls. Unfortunately D&G had to stay home that night. Then last weekend we went to another party and i was dressed as a soccer player and topher was dressed as a football player, and he can really pull it off. Hook 'em! D&G were looking fierce. We dressed them up as a pair with Dolce in this cute little hotdog outfit and Gabbana in a bun outfit. It's cute because they really do go together like a hotdog and bun. It was so much fun. For some reason I think Halloween is the best holiday of the year. And I"m even too old to trick or treat! (though we both got one of each! j/k)

Oh it's also getting cold here. It's only been in the 60's! where did summer go? How am I supposed to lay out and work on my tan when it's cloudy and cold?!?!? Are all Texas winters like thsi? I think I'm going to die. On the plus side though I bought a really cute new wool scarf. It's red and gold and makes me look like an abercrombie model who's wearing a scarf. Anyways that's all for now! Keep it real peeps.

Ryan out!

Massages!!

Hey y'all! Business has been booming recently! I've totally gotten a big promotion, so now I have so much more responsibility. I so don't want to get out of touch with my peeps in the COA (City of Angles, yeah!!), but when responsibility calls, you have to answer!

The OLD Topher used to work from post-brunch to pre-late-lunch, and that's practically the graveyard shift... you know! But NOW I work during the post-dinner hours, and it's totally NOT the graveyard shift! There are so many people now that want me to tell them all about fashion. The most awesome thing is that in Europe (I'm thinking Paris here!) everyone goes out after dinner, so it's practically like I'm working with the people from Paris. So exciting!!

You know what's totally not so exciting?!!? More responsibility makes me in to a total ball of stress! People expect so much from me, especially now that I'm working during prime time, baby!!

But really, with Ry's totally amazing job he's doing at school, and everything going on with me, we totally needed massages. So guess where we went! The Austin School of Massage!!! Have you ever heard of going to a School of Massage to get a massage? That's where you learn to give massages, right?? I thought it was totally crazy, but Ryan's faghag from school told him it was totally the best thing EVER so we gave it a try.

You know how Ry was saying that Philly is the fattest city in America?? (It totally is, by the way... I went there once for some totally stupid reason--Let's play a game: I'll give you two words, and you say the reason I went... boys, and City of Brotherly Love!!!) Anyway, from personal experience, I can tell you that even when people from Philly don't look fat, they are still fat!!!1

Anyway I think that the people that did the Fat and Ugly Philly study totally ignored the Austin School of Massage. O. M. G.!!! Let's just say that Ry and me are the only people there that I would ever, ever, EVER!! give a massage to. There was this one woman who was so old, and she was wearing like a pink jogging suit. It made me feel funny, and not in that way!!

Okay, everybody, responsibility calls!! Not work, silly, I told you that I work during the night now. I am going to the gym!! Ry has me on the gay and narrow!!!

D&G send their kisses!

Fatties

omg did you hear that Philadelphia is the ugliest city in america? That really doesn't suprise me because come on it's Pennsylvania and all they do is eat chocolate and root for the STealers! Topher and I decided we're going to send some humanitarian fashion up there. Speaking of fashion I saw this totally scary butch lesbian the other day and it made my heart die a little bit. The only reason I noticed her is because she kinda looked like a cute boy. When I found out she was a lezzy i threw up a little bit in my mouth. For a second there I thought a girl was cute! Between her and topher's crush on SJP we're totally turning straight! This is what Texas does to little gay boys! I think when we're out in the real world topher and i are going to focus on lesbians because they need the most help. Girls you can do so much more with your hair than bowl cut or mullet. And I know topher can create a superhot halter that will totally excentuate your boobs instead of strapping them down with duck tape.

omg who wants to go out with me and watch the BRATZ movie?! It'll be sooooo much fun. I love those girls. so hotttt!

Also topher and i met this boy marty out the other night and he has a blog too! He's silly but takes lots of pictures. NEway that's all for now boys. Sorry for taking so long to post. I know all my peeps back home are dying for more adventures in atx!

XOXO
Ryan

I'm in love with a woman!

Okay, okay, I'm not actually in love with a woman! Who could ever be in love with a woman?!?!! Hehe... Especially in this city, where there are so many cute boys! I can't hardly take it!!

But I bet you were totally as scared! Probably not much as when I found out that Ry had lost his phone, because I knew from before that I was totally going to have to be his pimp now... whenever he looses his phone, I always have to pass messages to him from some guys I don't even know. But it's totally worth it, because he is totally my bff!!

Oh, right, this post was about women, not men... sorry I get easily distracted! (But seriously, I would say these two have just about the same boob-size...



Ewww! Is there any decision!??!!1)

BUT Seriously now, I do have one woman that I like like... I totally have a fashion crush on her. SJP!!! (That's Sarah Jessica Parker for those of you not in the know!)

I totally admit her Gap work wasn't the most totally fierce thing ever. But I think that they knew that it wasn't the best thing for her, so they dropped her really soon after and she was on to better things, anyway!

But she has the most perfect taste ever. I mean, maybe not in men, because if I were as hot as she was, I would totally have a hotter husband than she does.

God, look at how fierce she is!! It's totally amazing that she is able to pull off the pant suit and not look at all butch. But look at MB... he's totally not working it at all. She is so amazing, though! Who would think to do baby doll above the shoulders with a pant suit over a corset?

Anyways, I'm sure you'll hear more about her, because I'm the author!! Yay!

You know how Ry was dealing with the sick puppy the other day, and he was totally stressed because he was studying for his test?? He ROCKED it! I was so proud of him. I love it how when you do the right thing with your life, everything falls into place. I mean, cosmetology is SO right for Ry, and now everything is working out for him!

I'll let you know how Monday goes, GROAN!! hehe...

Disaster!!!!

OMG the worst thing ever happened. I lost my cell phone. Seriously who does that? Now how r all the cute bois going to call me? Seriously i might as well just be wiped off the face of the earth. I think I lost it Saturday night when I was out getting all crazy.

It sux soooo much not having a PHONE!!!! How am I supposed to text with my peeps back home to get the low down on all the crazy socal drama that's always going on? Or what if it was an emergency like i was getting rapped or something? What really sucks though is that i was getting all the numbers of my new atx friends and now i don't have them anymore :.-( Like if they don't read this blog and they're calling me and I don't pick up they're going to hAAAAte me. IT"S NOT MY FAULT!!!! I blame tooo many mexican martinis!!!

Seriously thought if you see it or have it PLEASE give it to me. Daddy needs his medicine! It's a little pink Razr with D&G in diamonds on the front. The background picture is of my babies (sidenote, Dolce is feeling much better now. i think he just got some bad mineral water or something. whatevs)

I guess I have to look at the bright side though. Now i can go up to bois and be like "I lost my number can I have yours"!!! Oh and Ben McKenzie aka Ryan Atwood from the OC was out at Apple bar this weekend. He was just one of so many hot bois who were out at apple bar this weekend. ugh he's such a socal wannabe. Bitch doesn't know how it's done. Topher and I could show him a thing or two! He's hot though but a shortie. and what did he ever see in Mischa Barton? I'd take Seth over Ryan any day. He's soooo adorable.

Apple bar is totally my fav place in Austin. The music there is so good, and there's this one super cute cocky-head boy who spins. HE could turn my world sideways! Anyway I'm rambling so I gotta jet. Since I don't have a phone I won't be calling you but that doesn't mean I don't like you!!!!!!

Strike a pose!!

Hey y'all!

Ry is so right about me putting him on the cover of GQ in one of my suits once I finally break through the glass ceiling in fashion. You know, most people don't believe it, but people don't take you seriously if you're gay in fashion. I mean, seriously, like Isaac Mizrahi? He's one of the biggest ever and his big deal is Target?!? I would NEVER!

I've been texting with the guy from the date. He's so cool... I think I really like him. I still don't want to say much, but I'll just throw out there that he's in management. (!! That means he's successful and hot!!!) I knew it was the right thing for me to come to Austin. Everything is turning up Topher!

Like listen to this. I was out at Oilcan last night, and the guys from off-the-record were there. One of them was totally smiling at me... it made me feel like I've really arrived in Austin!

Speaking of which, they are soooo cool. They are totally the reason that Austin is so amazing, because you have all these guys that are not only really cute and totally put together, but they also have real lives outside the clubs. I think that we're totally going to get along... AS SOON AS RYAN DOESN'T WANT TO LEAVE THE CLUBS AS SOON AS I'M ABOUT TO TALK TO THEM. jking........!

Anyways, I've totally been licking my hangover all day, so hopefully tonight I'll snap out of it and I can lather, rinse, repeat! I love this town!!!

STD

NO it's not in reference to tophers date (at least I hope not. I heard it went okay though but i'll let him explain). we do have an STD though - a Sick and Tired Doggie! Sorry it's taken me so long to post but things have been crayzee here. So I've been totally stressed out about my cosmetology midterm and I totally got sick. Like really sick. I looked SOOOO bad. I was all puffy. I think it must've been like the flu or something. I think my stress totally repressed my immune system and I picked up something from someone. Oh well that's what you get for riding the bus!

Anyway I caught something bad on Monday night and started feeling shitty. It started off with a sore throat. It was all red and swollen (but not for that reason!) I felt sooo bad on Tuesday and even threw up a few times involuntarily. So i had to stay home, which wasn't all that bad because I gots to watch my Oprah. She my gurrrl mmmmhmmmm. You know it. But all the bed rest helped and by Wensday I was feeling better. I still took it easy and only had a few glasses of wine before bed. And baby I'm going strong today!

What's so sad though is that I think I passed it on to Dolce! He's all being frumpy and sad so I think something's wrong with him. Does anyone know how to take a doggie's temperature? He's all snuggled up on my bed under the covers and is looking soooo cute.

Speaking of cute, have you seen the new Genre this month?! Talk about HAWT!

ANd I heard he's a Texas boy! That's how they grow them down here peeps! This picture really cheers D&G up. When topher is really big in the fashion industry he's totally gonna put me on the cover of Out or XY wearing his line. I'm soooo excited about it!

OK peeps that's all for now! I've got a sick doggie to take care of. Much love to the west coasties!

Date!!!

OMG I went on a date tonight!!!!! One of the guys from the party this weekend called me and asked if wanted to get dinner. I totally did! I couldn't quite remember who it was when he called, but I haven't been on a date yet in Austin, so I was totally up for it. (Well, some things count as dates and some things don't, right? Maybe it's different here in Austin. Well I definitely haven't been on any dates in LA!!)

Anyway, I don't want to jinx it, so I'm not going to say anything else, except that somebody is pretty successful!!! He's not my usual type, but I'm totally trying to expand my horizons, because the reason I moved here was because I'm so sick of the daily grind in Los Angeles, so I should totally try something new, right? Totally!

Quaterback Attack!

Well, aside from the totally depressing nature of my last post (sorrrrrrrrryyyy, I was SO homesick...) yesterday was a totally ausome day! (hehe... Since I live in Austin now, my days are all ausome... :-) )

Some of Ry and I's new friends invited us over to their place to watch the Texas OU game. They were SO nice, and since they lived in West Campus, the totally hot guys were like out in force. But no one was as hot as the Texas and OU quarterbacks, Sam Bradford and Colt Mccoy.


Tragically, U.T. lost, but as you can see from above, all of us boys watching the game totally won!!! I love football!

Fat Girl

It was so sad today... I had to stay at work until like 7:15, when I was supposed to get off at 5:00. And I had been sitting there at work missing home sooooo much. Seriously, total randoms at work would make me think of people that I missed back at home.

Since they made me stay the extra two hours, it totally messed up my diet. All I could do was think about food and sadness when I got home, so I started eating...

You know how they say food can make you happy? I don't think that's true. I mean, she looks happy on the outside. But what do you think she feels like on the inside?


I don't know, but I don't think any of these people look very happy.

So anyway I know I didn't feel very happy just because I was eating. But Ry is so amazing in like every way, and he totally sat there and watched me fat girl it all the way through a Wendy's biggie value meal plus extra fries, then made me this AMAZING mousse. He totally is my BFF.

You know how some people say that you know who your real friends are since they're the ones who will be sitting in jail with you. I mean, not that Ry would ever actually eat all this stuff with me... he is way to healthy for that... (and you can totally tell!!) I have so much to learn from him.

I love this town so much! I'm going to make tomorrow better!

Weekend update

Like topher said, we totally rocked the ship last night! It's been a stressful week at class because we're working on manicures right now. I'm always afraid that i'm going to hurt somebody by like filing down too far or something and it totally stresses me out. And when I get stressed out i bite my nails! No one wants to get a mani from a nail biter. That's like getting fashion advice from topher! j/k he's really good at what he does. he looked sooooooooo cute in his new jeans. They were all skinny which worked really well because topher's been on this new diet and it's really working for him. speaking of we're looking at joining a gym here in the atx. any suggestions boys? I like to do the ellipitcal and topher likes to bike. And D&G love to doggie paddle. It's so cute we even got them little doggie scuba suits. They love that shit up. They're true LA puppies, laying in the sun, drinking their doggie juice, and just chillin and lving life. Just like me a topher.

Anyway I was looking pretty good myself because I jsut redid my blonde tips so I look all surfer boy hot. I put some clay product to make it all spiky but not too spiky. We went out to Chipotle and got some burrittos (never drink on an empty stomach people!) then hit the clubs. It was both our first real night out here in ATX. We went out to oil change charlie's first which was a little bit creepy cause it's kinda dark and there are lots of older, darker people. SO we just kinda chilled and had a few drinks then we went to rain next door. For all you peeps back home, atx only has two TWO! gay clubs but they're more like bars not clubs. There's not a lot of room to dance and you know how i love to shake my junk (not that there's a lot of junk to shake ;-P).

So we went over to rain and had a few more drinks. People in this town seem really stuck up, but the boys are kinda cute. We got hit on by a few creepy older guys. Like they had a chance of getting with us, but we were looking sooo cute. There were a few cute boys out but they didn't have any fakes like topher and I. After a few drinks though we were both feeling pretty socialable. We actually met some cute-ish boys and I think one of them likes topher. I mean what's not to like right? Love ya babes!

Anyway we chilled with them for a while and they invited us to an after party. It was out in like BFE though and we were both kinda tipsy so we decided to skip it for fear of getting lost in backwater texas and getting sodomized in the bad way. So we just drove home and called it a night (I know, loserville right?). But we're playing it safe and pacing ourselves.

I woke up this morning feeling awesome because i don't get hangovers, but I think topher was a little sore. But we had some breakfast and were both feeling good. I wanted to lay out today but the clouds had a different idea in mind. It's days like this when I miss cali getting crunked poolside with my peeps. Then we watched some football (so butch right but this is texas so when in texas do as the romans do). It was fun to watch though because that Colt kid is a DREAMBOAT!!!!!

NEways we're prolly headed back out tonight so if you see us don't be afraid to say hi. We don't bite which is more than I can say for D&G! laterz

So many boys

So D&G were staring at me and R last night, wondering when we were going to take them out to check out the cute boys again... they're so into that! They make us walk by the frat houses all the time. It's sooo cute.

Anyways, we decided that we had to go to the bars. Ryan and me, silly! D&G don't go to bars! ;-) I mean, they would love to, but I think it's probably not for the best! But seriously my Friday was so filled with people asking me all these questions about fashion, and they're all so ignorant. Seriously, are they actually asking me these questions? I shouldn't even have to waste my time with these people.

But really, I had to get some drinks with R to make my self less of a stress ball! So we got so cute! Ryan was totally jealous because my outfit matched so much more than his. He had been thinking about this thing he was going to do for like 3 days, but it seriously wasn't as good as mine. I mean, there's a reason I work in fashion!! I think you could hardly tell that Ryan was wearing makeup, so he's totally doing the right thing too... hehe.

There are so many cute boys in this city! Like I met this kid named Joe. Everyone calls him Lil' Joe because he's kind of small, but he's like not a twink in any way. He's got this really understated style that makes him look so mature, even though he is actually pretty small! And I was like seriously so glad to not be around ignorant straight people any more who don't know anything about fashion.

OMG speaking of which, I just want to say something. I feel so bad for the poor president of Iran. (Are you surprised that I watch the news?!?!) I mean, he's getting all of this press, and he's wearing the same thing literally all the time. And he's in New York! Oh my god, if I went to New York I would make sure that I looked so good, because they are so serious about fashion there.

And his country even has lots of really nice fabrics and designs. Look at the things that the women wear! I should totally be his fashion advisor.


Okay, U.T. is playing today, so there are so many boys walking around in burnt orange. This might be literally, and I'm not kidding, the only time that I would ever say that someone should wear burnt orange. I still don't think that I would wear it, but maybe if one of the boys took me as his date to a game, I would buy something from the store and make it my own, like maybe I'd add some black trim to a tank top, or I could make it looked like I had painted in it, you know the distressed look is very now.

Hook 'em, y'all!!!

Helllooooooo!

Hey y'all! (hehe, I love saying that now! )

Like R said, we come from LA. When he told me he was coming to Austin, I was like I have got to get out of this city!, so here I am! I am working in the fashion industry here in ATX... I just love clothing. You know, how you can put it on and all the sudden you feel like a different person. I mean, and it can even make you feel better or worse about yourself. That kind of stuff is so important to me, when something can be two different things at the same time. It's so much like life.

But I can't get all philosophical on you yet!! You don't even know me!!!1

I am so excited to get to know people here in my new home! And I am really excited to have thought of putting up this blog so that all of me and R's friends back in LA can keep up. (It was totally my idea, Ryan!) So if you see two cute boys walking two cute dogs, say hi! You just might end up on this blog!

That's it for now. D&G are begging to go outside and check out the cute frat boys, so who am I so deny them!

Hittin up the ATX!!!!!!!

Whazzup bitches! I guess I should start out by giving you the story thus far. I'm Ryan James Robertson (RJR for short, like the cigarette company! luv me up them marboros!!) I moved to austin with my friend Christopher, who is also awesome, like me but not as thin. j/k We're BFFs. We're both from LA and I moved out to texas to get my cosmetology degree and because i have some family out here. Christopher decided to come with and is working in the fashion industry. Together we have two dogs Dolce & Gabbana who are soooo cute. We live near campus and are looking to party it up in the atx! basicaly we started this blog so our friends back home can keep up with our crazy texas adventure. shout out to da hillz!

Ryan and Christopher

We are Ryan and Christopher, non-romantic long term male companions.