Fatties

omg did you hear that Philadelphia is the ugliest city in america? That really doesn't suprise me because come on it's Pennsylvania and all they do is eat chocolate and root for the STealers! Topher and I decided we're going to send some humanitarian fashion up there. Speaking of fashion I saw this totally scary butch lesbian the other day and it made my heart die a little bit. The only reason I noticed her is because she kinda looked like a cute boy. When I found out she was a lezzy i threw up a little bit in my mouth. For a second there I thought a girl was cute! Between her and topher's crush on SJP we're totally turning straight! This is what Texas does to little gay boys! I think when we're out in the real world topher and i are going to focus on lesbians because they need the most help. Girls you can do so much more with your hair than bowl cut or mullet. And I know topher can create a superhot halter that will totally excentuate your boobs instead of strapping them down with duck tape.

omg who wants to go out with me and watch the BRATZ movie?! It'll be sooooo much fun. I love those girls. so hotttt!

Also topher and i met this boy marty out the other night and he has a blog too! He's silly but takes lots of pictures. NEway that's all for now boys. Sorry for taking so long to post. I know all my peeps back home are dying for more adventures in atx!

XOXO
Ryan

I'm in love with a woman!

Okay, okay, I'm not actually in love with a woman! Who could ever be in love with a woman?!?!! Hehe... Especially in this city, where there are so many cute boys! I can't hardly take it!!

But I bet you were totally as scared! Probably not much as when I found out that Ry had lost his phone, because I knew from before that I was totally going to have to be his pimp now... whenever he looses his phone, I always have to pass messages to him from some guys I don't even know. But it's totally worth it, because he is totally my bff!!

Oh, right, this post was about women, not men... sorry I get easily distracted! (But seriously, I would say these two have just about the same boob-size...



Ewww! Is there any decision!??!!1)

BUT Seriously now, I do have one woman that I like like... I totally have a fashion crush on her. SJP!!! (That's Sarah Jessica Parker for those of you not in the know!)

I totally admit her Gap work wasn't the most totally fierce thing ever. But I think that they knew that it wasn't the best thing for her, so they dropped her really soon after and she was on to better things, anyway!

But she has the most perfect taste ever. I mean, maybe not in men, because if I were as hot as she was, I would totally have a hotter husband than she does.

God, look at how fierce she is!! It's totally amazing that she is able to pull off the pant suit and not look at all butch. But look at MB... he's totally not working it at all. She is so amazing, though! Who would think to do baby doll above the shoulders with a pant suit over a corset?

Anyways, I'm sure you'll hear more about her, because I'm the author!! Yay!

You know how Ry was dealing with the sick puppy the other day, and he was totally stressed because he was studying for his test?? He ROCKED it! I was so proud of him. I love it how when you do the right thing with your life, everything falls into place. I mean, cosmetology is SO right for Ry, and now everything is working out for him!

I'll let you know how Monday goes, GROAN!! hehe...

Disaster!!!!

OMG the worst thing ever happened. I lost my cell phone. Seriously who does that? Now how r all the cute bois going to call me? Seriously i might as well just be wiped off the face of the earth. I think I lost it Saturday night when I was out getting all crazy.

It sux soooo much not having a PHONE!!!! How am I supposed to text with my peeps back home to get the low down on all the crazy socal drama that's always going on? Or what if it was an emergency like i was getting rapped or something? What really sucks though is that i was getting all the numbers of my new atx friends and now i don't have them anymore :.-( Like if they don't read this blog and they're calling me and I don't pick up they're going to hAAAAte me. IT"S NOT MY FAULT!!!! I blame tooo many mexican martinis!!!

Seriously thought if you see it or have it PLEASE give it to me. Daddy needs his medicine! It's a little pink Razr with D&G in diamonds on the front. The background picture is of my babies (sidenote, Dolce is feeling much better now. i think he just got some bad mineral water or something. whatevs)

I guess I have to look at the bright side though. Now i can go up to bois and be like "I lost my number can I have yours"!!! Oh and Ben McKenzie aka Ryan Atwood from the OC was out at Apple bar this weekend. He was just one of so many hot bois who were out at apple bar this weekend. ugh he's such a socal wannabe. Bitch doesn't know how it's done. Topher and I could show him a thing or two! He's hot though but a shortie. and what did he ever see in Mischa Barton? I'd take Seth over Ryan any day. He's soooo adorable.

Apple bar is totally my fav place in Austin. The music there is so good, and there's this one super cute cocky-head boy who spins. HE could turn my world sideways! Anyway I'm rambling so I gotta jet. Since I don't have a phone I won't be calling you but that doesn't mean I don't like you!!!!!!

Strike a pose!!

Hey y'all!

Ry is so right about me putting him on the cover of GQ in one of my suits once I finally break through the glass ceiling in fashion. You know, most people don't believe it, but people don't take you seriously if you're gay in fashion. I mean, seriously, like Isaac Mizrahi? He's one of the biggest ever and his big deal is Target?!? I would NEVER!

I've been texting with the guy from the date. He's so cool... I think I really like him. I still don't want to say much, but I'll just throw out there that he's in management. (!! That means he's successful and hot!!!) I knew it was the right thing for me to come to Austin. Everything is turning up Topher!

Like listen to this. I was out at Oilcan last night, and the guys from off-the-record were there. One of them was totally smiling at me... it made me feel like I've really arrived in Austin!

Speaking of which, they are soooo cool. They are totally the reason that Austin is so amazing, because you have all these guys that are not only really cute and totally put together, but they also have real lives outside the clubs. I think that we're totally going to get along... AS SOON AS RYAN DOESN'T WANT TO LEAVE THE CLUBS AS SOON AS I'M ABOUT TO TALK TO THEM. jking........!

Anyways, I've totally been licking my hangover all day, so hopefully tonight I'll snap out of it and I can lather, rinse, repeat! I love this town!!!

STD

NO it's not in reference to tophers date (at least I hope not. I heard it went okay though but i'll let him explain). we do have an STD though - a Sick and Tired Doggie! Sorry it's taken me so long to post but things have been crayzee here. So I've been totally stressed out about my cosmetology midterm and I totally got sick. Like really sick. I looked SOOOO bad. I was all puffy. I think it must've been like the flu or something. I think my stress totally repressed my immune system and I picked up something from someone. Oh well that's what you get for riding the bus!

Anyway I caught something bad on Monday night and started feeling shitty. It started off with a sore throat. It was all red and swollen (but not for that reason!) I felt sooo bad on Tuesday and even threw up a few times involuntarily. So i had to stay home, which wasn't all that bad because I gots to watch my Oprah. She my gurrrl mmmmhmmmm. You know it. But all the bed rest helped and by Wensday I was feeling better. I still took it easy and only had a few glasses of wine before bed. And baby I'm going strong today!

What's so sad though is that I think I passed it on to Dolce! He's all being frumpy and sad so I think something's wrong with him. Does anyone know how to take a doggie's temperature? He's all snuggled up on my bed under the covers and is looking soooo cute.

Speaking of cute, have you seen the new Genre this month?! Talk about HAWT!

ANd I heard he's a Texas boy! That's how they grow them down here peeps! This picture really cheers D&G up. When topher is really big in the fashion industry he's totally gonna put me on the cover of Out or XY wearing his line. I'm soooo excited about it!

OK peeps that's all for now! I've got a sick doggie to take care of. Much love to the west coasties!

Date!!!

OMG I went on a date tonight!!!!! One of the guys from the party this weekend called me and asked if wanted to get dinner. I totally did! I couldn't quite remember who it was when he called, but I haven't been on a date yet in Austin, so I was totally up for it. (Well, some things count as dates and some things don't, right? Maybe it's different here in Austin. Well I definitely haven't been on any dates in LA!!)

Anyway, I don't want to jinx it, so I'm not going to say anything else, except that somebody is pretty successful!!! He's not my usual type, but I'm totally trying to expand my horizons, because the reason I moved here was because I'm so sick of the daily grind in Los Angeles, so I should totally try something new, right? Totally!

Quaterback Attack!

Well, aside from the totally depressing nature of my last post (sorrrrrrrrryyyy, I was SO homesick...) yesterday was a totally ausome day! (hehe... Since I live in Austin now, my days are all ausome... :-) )

Some of Ry and I's new friends invited us over to their place to watch the Texas OU game. They were SO nice, and since they lived in West Campus, the totally hot guys were like out in force. But no one was as hot as the Texas and OU quarterbacks, Sam Bradford and Colt Mccoy.


Tragically, U.T. lost, but as you can see from above, all of us boys watching the game totally won!!! I love football!

Fat Girl

It was so sad today... I had to stay at work until like 7:15, when I was supposed to get off at 5:00. And I had been sitting there at work missing home sooooo much. Seriously, total randoms at work would make me think of people that I missed back at home.

Since they made me stay the extra two hours, it totally messed up my diet. All I could do was think about food and sadness when I got home, so I started eating...

You know how they say food can make you happy? I don't think that's true. I mean, she looks happy on the outside. But what do you think she feels like on the inside?


I don't know, but I don't think any of these people look very happy.

So anyway I know I didn't feel very happy just because I was eating. But Ry is so amazing in like every way, and he totally sat there and watched me fat girl it all the way through a Wendy's biggie value meal plus extra fries, then made me this AMAZING mousse. He totally is my BFF.

You know how some people say that you know who your real friends are since they're the ones who will be sitting in jail with you. I mean, not that Ry would ever actually eat all this stuff with me... he is way to healthy for that... (and you can totally tell!!) I have so much to learn from him.

I love this town so much! I'm going to make tomorrow better!